This page was added to break the Seriousness of Theology
Any kind of study including the Bible can be enhanced with a little Humor. If you don’t believe God has a sense of humor just look into a mirror.
Proverbs 17:22 says this
“A merry heart doeth good like a medicine:”(KJV)
The Woman In The Choir
Did you hear about the woman in the choir that was hit in the head with a hymnal that was thrown from the congregation? She said, "Throw another one, I can still hear the preacher!"
How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?
Who knows! They're all standing in the dark arguing whether the light bulb exists or not!
An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with what she thought was her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice, "I have a gun and I know how to use it! Get out of the car, you scumbags!"
The four men didn't wait for a second invitation but got out and ran like mad, where upon the lady, somewhat shaken, proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and get into the driver's seat.
She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why. When she spotted her own car about four spaces to the left . The four young men never came back because they were trying to steal a car that looked just like hers
An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services when she was startled to find an intruder in her home.
She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled, "Stop! According to Acts 2:38!" "Repent so that your sins may be forgiven."
The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he was curious and asked the burglar, "Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you."
"Scripture"? replied the burglar. "She said she had an Axe and 2 two 38s!"
The Husband's Checkup
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.
He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die.
Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood.
For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores, as he probably had a hard day.
Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse.
And most importantly, show a lot of love and affection with your husband, and throughout each and every day, satisfy his every whim.
If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, l think your husband will regain his health completely. If not he will probably die soon."
On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"
He said “You're going to die, soon"
Woman goes to Heaven
After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the Gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table.
Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her. "Hello. How are you? We've been waiting for you. Good to see you!"
When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a wonderful place. How do I get in"?
"You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her.
"Which word"? the woman asked.
The woman correctly spelled "l-o-v-e" and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.
About two years later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day.
While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived.
"I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been"?
"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her. "I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a big mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation and I went water skiing today. I fell, the ski hit my head and here I am. How do I get in"?
"You have to spell a word," the woman told him.
"Which word"? her husband asked.
The woman said
Boy’s Long haireavenHllllll
A young boy had just gotten his driver's permit and inquired of his father, an evangelist, if they could discuss his use of the car.
His father said, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, get your hair cut and we'll talk about the car."
Well, the boy thought about that for a moment and decided that he'd settle for the offer and they agreed on it. After about six weeks, they went into the study, where his father said, "Son, I've been real proud."
"You brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible and participating a lot more in the Bible Study groups. But, I'm a bit disappointed, since you haven't gotten your hair cut."
The young man paused a moment and then said, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair and there's even a strong argument that Jesus had long hair."
To this, his father replied, "Did you also notice that they all walked everywhere they went"?
Two young boys playing church
A mother watched from her kitchen window as her two young boys 5 and 3 played in the alley just after a big rain. All of the potholes were full of water. All af a sudden the older one caught the younger one behind the neck and pushed his fase into one of the large holes. As the younger stood laughinh and dripping the mother came up and asked the older one why did he do that to his little brother. The 5 year old replied; We were just playing church and I baptized him. You know they say in the name of the father and the son and in the hole he goes.
I hope you enjoyed the break
Rev. George Pryor